Rebecca Mary Niranjan – Birth Journey

February 23, 2019:

Swetha was past her due date. Every additional day of waiting for the birth of our baby girl was increasing the anxiety and uncertainty in all of us. Every call, every message to family or friends was a discussion on how far the baby is coming along and how Swetha is doing. Swetha’s baby bulge was getting heavy on her. She was complaining of back pain every night. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night with cramps in her legs. I tried my best to be supportive by going through the exercises and practicing the breathing patterns we learnt during the prenatal sessions at the hospital. We kept packing and re-packing the hospital bag every time adding or removing something that we thought might or might not be necessary. We sat together and watched birth vlogs and read many blogs to learn about what other people had gone through in this waiting phase. Swetha was like a student waiting to take a big exam, constantly preparing her body and mind to give a natural birth. She wanted to be assured that God will not allow any form of medical intervention during child birth. I tried my best to keep her calm by assuring everything will be okay. It was early this morning when I was heard Swetha walking around our bedroom. I saw her standing in the dressing closet. I woke up checked the time. It was around 3:30 AM. I got out of bed and asked her what was wrong. She told me she thought her water just broke. We had clear instructions from our Doctor, go directly to the hospital if her water breaks, or if we see bleeding or if she has contractions following the 5-1-1 pattern. I knew there was no time to waste, I had to take control and get her to the hospital as soon as possible. I tried to remain calm. We went through all our preparations. I got the hospital bag ready and changed my night clothes. Swetha washed her face and got herself ready to go to the hospital.

My parents were in the living room sleeping on the IKEA day bed. They had heard us and were also awake knowing it was time for labor. They had come to stay with us last December. We desperately needed help. The previous year was a very challenging year for us. We had just moved to Canada and I had got a job, when we got to know that Swetha was pregnant.

Swetha and I when we had recently
moved to Toronto

I was in office when Swetha called me to inform me that she had taken the pregnancy test 3 times and is confident that it is positive. I calmed myself and thought about what I should do next. I called my friend Srividya in Montreal and asked her to help. She gave me all the information I needed. There was a walk-in clinic near our condo building. We had to go and register for an appointment and get Swetha checked. The doctor would provide us with the next steps that we should take. We tried to visit the clinic that evening when I came back from office. The clinic was closed. Swetha called the clinic next morning and managed to book an appointment for the upcoming Tuesday. I think it was a Thursday when she called them. We waiting patiently. I tried to concentrate on work to get a sense of normalcy. I knew however, that my life would never be the same again. I knew my responsibilities just got increased. At church that Sunday I prayed to God thanking Him and asking for strength to remain calm and wisdom to make wise decisions. After the church service Swetha got urged to get prayed by one of the church Elders. She walked up front and got in line along with the few others who were waiting to get prayed. When her turn came the Elder who prayed for her was an Indian by birth, a Malayali. Our church is a multi-cultural church with people from over 70 different countries and races. So it was by chance that Swetha had to get prayed by Gladson Thomas. Swetha was nervous about the walk-in clinic. She wanted everything to go well. Both of us are away from family and in a new country. Every decision we took we prayed and asked God to guide us. After Gladson prayed over Swetha he asked to her to kindly stay back after the church service to meet with him and his wife Sara. Swetha and I waited for them in the church lobby. We got to know later that Gladson was a member of the church deacon board. His wife Sara and son Kristofer are both very active members of the church. Gladson and Sara are both an inspiration to us as they not only pray and participate in church activities, but their lives are a reflection of Christ’s love by the way they practice kindness to others. When we met them and shared the news of Swetha’s pregnancy with Sara she was very happy for us. They offered us a ride back home. 

Swetha's ultrasound check

Gladson asked us to cancel the walk-in clinic appointment. He said that he will try to get us a referral with a better doctor. They dropped us back home, we thanked them so much for their love and kindness. Swetha and I went up to our unit thinking how God brings divine connections. When we thought we were alone in making decisions in this country, he literally sent someone who prayed and took over our concerns. As he said Gladson got us a referral with Doctor Karen Stel. We got referred by the church senior pastor’s wife who was a retired nurse herself. When we went for our first appointment, we were so overwhelmed by God’s goodness. We got all the different dates we had to come for check-up. Doctor Karen Stel was kind and friendly. She was nice to Swetha and patient in explaining things. Over the next months, through every trimester we saw God’s hand upon Swetha. She aced every test, and was always normal.

North York General Hospital

So this morning, as we left to the hospital I knew she will do well. She is much stronger than I am. It was around 4:30 AM when we reached the hospital. We went straight up to the labor ward. The nurses who were doing the early hour shift were available. We got admitted for check-up. Swetha looked excited. She was calm and looked confident to face labor. The nurse examined her and confirmed to us that her water has broken. However, she is only 2 cms dilated. She has to be dilated 10 cms to go into labor. She suggested we go back home and wait for another 12 hours and come back for an examination. We got dropped back home by the same Lyft driver. I think the time must have been around 5:30 AM. At home, Swetha took bath and tried to get some rest. It was only 12 PM when she started getting periodic contractions every 5 minutes apart. We quickly had lunch and made our way to the hospital again. As we approached North York general which will be the hospital where our baby will be born we realized that when we return back home we will be with her. 

On the way to North York General Hospital
after Swetha's water broke

We went up to the labor ward to have Swetha examined again. We had hospital bands tied to our right hands which meant we do not need to go through the admission process again. We were asked to wait directly in the examination room. The nurse who was on shift examined Swetha and told her she was 3 cms dilated. This meant that she is still not eligible for active labor. The nurse suggested her to walk for a couple of hours as usually they wait up to 12 hours after the water is broken to make a decision whether she requires any medical assistance to speed up the progress. For the next 2 hours we were walking around the hospital. Mostly praying for a smooth delivery. At 2 PM, Swetha got examined again. There was not much progress. She was still dilated the same amount.

In the Labour ward with Amma

The nurse asked us if we wanted to get admitted. We were not sure if there was another alternative but we agreed and asked her to show us our labor room. The labor room was a corner unit. It was large and spacious with 2 rocking chairs, 1 chair that can be converted into a bed. The bathroom had a hot tub Jacuzzi. Swetha was excited to see all the amenities available for us and forgot about labor for some time. She got into the hot tub Jacuzzi and did not want to come out. She spent almost 1 hour in the tub. It was 7 PM now. Doctor Karen came to visit us. She examined Swetha to check her dilation. Swetha was still only 3 cms dilated. Dr.Karen was not satisfied with the progress, She suggested we get labor induced immediately. Labor would be induced by injecting oxytocin through intra venous method. Swetha however was still hopeful and wanted to go completely natural. So we got out of the labor ward and walked around the labor unit for another 2 hours. Swetha’s pain was becoming more and more intense, but her contractions were never periodic. By 9 PM we had to come back as the night nurse was ready to perform a progress check. She examined Swetha by 9:30 PM and said it was time we induced the labor as there was a potential for infection if we wait longer. This was because her water broke at 5 AM in the morning and according to the Canadian guidelines she should have given birth within the next 12 hours. So reluctantly we gave in and the nurse injected the IV and started the process.

Swetha was getting more and more uncomfortable. She was tied to the bed now due to the IV setup. She was having intense contractions even though it was still not periodic. Getting her to the toilet was a challenge as she had to take the IV setup with the wires along with her. The labour induction was a simple enough procedure, Oxytocin was induced through intra-venous method. The nurse however had to wait for another 2-3 hours before she started the dosage as she had to monitor the baby’s heart rate which apparently was not stable and was dropping at times. Swetha was getting restless. She had been very strong so far. It was around 11 PM when the labour induction was initiated. The concentration of oxytocin will be increased over time depending upon how well we see progress. Unfortunately, even after labor induction Swetha was not making much progress. But her pain increased many fold. It was very difficult to see her in so much pain. She kept telling me that she wanted to sleep but the pain kept her awake. We were all very tired. My mother kept asking the nurse when there will be progress. The nurse was not unkind but I was sure she was slowly losing her patience. At around 12-12:30 AM I got very hungry and asked Appa to buy me something to eat from the Tim Hortons downstairs. Unfortunately there was only cold sandwich and diet coke, so that’s what I had. It made me sick in some time. I had to vomit it all out to become fine.

It was 2 AM now, Swetha was not able to bear the pain any longer. She started screaming and gripping my hand very strongly. She wanted to get an epidural to alleviate the pain. The epidural would be injected via a needle to her spine. The night doctor was called to initiate the procedure. As we were waiting Swetha started to apologize to me and Amma. She was crying that she is not able to bear the pain and cannot do a natural delivery. I tried consoling her. My mind was blank, I did not know what I could tell her. I have been in this state many times in the past year. A state were I could say nothing to console my wife.

Swetha with her Dad during our wedding day

As we waited impatiently for the doctor to arrive my numb mind was reminded of one November morning in 2018 when Swetha woke up checking her phone for a whatsapp message she received from a family relative. She turned toward me and said "Pattu, appa poitaaru...". Swetha's father passed away when she was 6 months pregnant. Friends and family called us and gave their consolation. My parents were in Bangalore at my brother's place when this happened. They visited Swetha's family on our behalf. The following weeks was tough. Swetha kept asking me why God would not allow her to see her father's face before his funeral. The struggle and challenges of pregnancy on one hand, mourning and not being able to be close to family on the other. Swetha carried her cross on her own. As for me, I am in the same place, not knowing how I can ease her pain. 

The doctor finally arrived, quickly explained the procedure and warnings. Amma was asked to wait outside. I was given a mask and a cap. I was made to sit in a chair facing Swetha. There was an Asian night nurse supporting the doctor. I do not remember what I was thinking, but I was deep in thought. I forgot where I was and what I was doing. The labor room started fading away. I saw a face. At first I did not know who it was. Then it came to me, it was the Asian nurse. She was asking me something, “Dad, are you okay? Did we scare you?..”. I had blacked out. I did not know how long, but the epidural procedure was completed. Swetha’s pain was slowly becoming lesser. The doctor brought me cold juice from the kitchen. The epidural was working as expected. Swetha soon fell asleep. I was glad it helped. It was around 3 AM now. I stretched out the sofa bed and slept as well. I woke up at around 4:30 AM and asked amma appa to go home take rest and come back later as they were also exhausted. What a night it has been so far.

February 24, 2019 :

We woke up at 6 AM. Swetha was stronger now. She looked fresh and ready for whatever comes next. I was awake and ready as well. At 7 AM, the morning nurse came in and examined Swetha. She was fully dilated now! It was time to push the baby out. Dr. Karen was notified and she was on the way to the hospital. I wanted to ensure that I do not faint this time, so I got myself some cold juice and kept it ready to use during the pushing session. I was asked to hold one leg and the nurse was holding the other leg. Swetha started to push. I was conscious not to look down as I might faint. I was at peaceful and thanking God for the strength He gave me. Dr. Karen arrived at around 8 AM. She rushed and got changed as the baby might be out at any moment. With some more pushing, finally baby Rebecca was out at 8:17 AM. She was adorable. Her eyes were open, she had the sweetest voice. She was handed over to Swetha. Swetha was flooded with emotions. She held our baby to her chest and kept saying “My baby, My baby”. It felt like a calm after the storm. Rebecca’s height and weight was recorded. I tried to take as many photos possible. Swetha looked exhausted and tired, but calm. Amma and Appa had come back by now. So I took Rebecca outside to meet them. When I came back Dr. Karen had completed post-delivery procedures. There was a lot of blood. I thanked God for giving me such a strong wife. After such an intense labor experience we were glad to checkout of the labor room and leave. 

Our baby girl “Rebecca Mary” is born. Praise to Jesus!

Night Market Krabi

I had visited Krabi, Thailand with my wife for a short vacation. The Krabi night market is definitely one of the must see places in Krabi. We were staying near the Ao Nang Beach, and it took about 45 minutes to reach the night market. There was a lot of taxi shuttles available which would take us to the night market from Ao Nang. We had gone there on a Sunday evening. It was raining intermittently, so I carried the hotel umbrella with me. A friend of mine had suggested me to try the Banana pancake there, so the first thing we did after getting out in Krabi night market is find a banana pancake shop. I thanked my friend later for suggesting me to try the banana pancake. I loved it.

The night market is a street full of open stalls selling different things, mostly souvenirs, t-shirts, accessories, and food - a lot of different variety of food.

This stall in particular intrigued our curiosity. They were selling insects. No, we did not try them. But it was interesting to see how they had cooked different variety of insects.

At the center of the night market there was this huge stage put up which had some people entertaining the crowd. We did not stay at the center for a long time since most seats were already filled.                  

We absolutely enjoyed the street food in the night market. The souvenir shops had all the souvenirs which we wanted to buy for family and friends at a good price. Music, food and shopping - night market was an enjoyable experience!!!

Uber Pool Singapore

Public transport in Singapore is not expensive. I moved to Singapore for work. I have always been using public transport for commuting to work. I would never take a taxi home unless I was starting from office in the middle of the night, which I would at times due to my work shift timings. I was aware of Uber, Grab and other taxi services in Singapore. But it was recently that my friend introduced me to the concept of UberPool and Grab Share. It sounded more like the share-auto concept which I have used in Chennai, but only better. I began to use more of UberPool everyday.

What is UberPool?
UberPool is a car sharing service provided by Uber apart from their usual Standard taxi services. UberPool will be atleast 15%-20% cheaper. Hence more affordable. Car sharing does not mean that you will find a car only if there are other people pooling. You will be riding alone in case nobody raises request for UberPool in your path.

I live less than 3 kms from my office. I was taking the bus to work everyday. My average journey time was 20-25 minutes, because I had to change 2 buses. After I started using UberPool my commute time is about 10 minutes or lesser these days. I do not use UberPool everyday though. Uber provides a lot of promotional discounts these days in Singapore. I wait for the promotions to be active. These promotions are $4 off, or $5 off, which means that I will be paying even lesser than what I pay for public transport. I suppose this is good because the distance to my office is less. If it was more then public transport might still be cheaper.

Screenshot of e-receipt

DBS Marina Regatta - Singapore

Yesterday I was near Marina Bay Sands to have a look at what was happening at the DBS Marina Regatta. DBS Marina Regatta is an event organized by the DBS Bank. This is happening on the Promontory near Marina Bay Sands. They have many events happening including a wipeout zone, food stalls, and urban beach and other things.

It was a breezy evening yesterday. I reached the promontory around 7:30 PM. The participants of the kayaking activities which should have been held earlier that day where stretching their legs and frolicking under empty stalls. The entrance of the DBS Marina Regatta had a beachy look. As soon as I entered the first thing I noticed was the big wipeout zone setup which was on the left. 

There was some people participating, and many were standing around this zone watching the event. The lighting was very good, but I got bored soon and moved over to the food stalls. They had about 6 - 7 food stalls. I started exploring what they were serving. There was an ice cream stall, a hot dog stall, arabian food, sausage stall, and a Michelin star listed stall. Food prices where not more than 15 dollars, but not less than 7 dollars. My wife and I enjoyed the delicious food. The stalls were wonderfully decorated. The place was lit up like a carnival.

After having a good dinner of hot dogs, sausages, and ice cream, I moved on to see what was happening on the other events. There was a beach setup which looked fantastic. There was some alcoholic drinks being served at the beach counter. 

The view from this fake beach was good. Since the night was breeze I noticed a lot of people enjoying with friends sitting on the hammock. 

There was also a sound proofed party dome with loud music playing on the inside. I did not bother going inside. 

DBS Marina Regatta on June 2nd was not crowded, may be because it was a Friday evening and people had not yet got into the weekend mode. My wife and I we enjoyed the pleasantness of the evening, and the delicious food served at the counters lifted our spirits.

Serpent Theory

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”


This reference from the book of Genesis is the conversation between Eve and the serpent.

From this passage we can understand that though God created all animals there were some animals which were more crafty or in other words had shades of evil in them. When I say evil, I am trying to understand what that essentially means. My understanding of evil is whatever that is not the will of God is evil. Because He is the creator.

What do we learn from the story of Adam and Eve?
What I have been taught from the story of Adam and Eve is this: Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. Because of their disobedience they and the entire human race has been cursed.

Another perspective? The Serpent Theory:
I have been thinking about what the serpent did. Can we say that we in our everyday lives unknowingly become like the serpent? Human beings can be crafty as well. We become evil when we do things which are not the will of God. We become a source of evil when we suggest things which are not the will of God. Everyone have their own view and best way of doing things. Do we forget to ask God what He wants us to do and tend to listen to others than God? When we listen to others and do things which are not the will of God, we become like Eve listening to the voice of the serpent. The voice of the serpent says "He became rich by doing this, Or, He is better because of doing this, why don't you also do this to be like him?" Therefore, we must also be cautious in what we suggest people to do. If we suggest things which are not the will of God, are we not providing voice to the serpent?

In every decision we take, we will have to pray and ask God to provide us the right way and every day we need to pray that God delivers us from the evil one.

Bicycle Sharing in Singapore

I have been living in Singapore for about 2 years now. I was recently introduced to bicycle sharing in Singapore by a friend. Being a cycling enthusiast, I was excited to know more about this. I was told that there are 3 vendors who offer bicycle sharing services in Singapore - OBike, Mobike, and OFO. There might be others but these are supposedly the major ones. I immediately started to explore on what was required to register to at least one of these services. I ended up registering for all the 3.

How it works:
OBike and Mobike are similar in their operation. They have a mobile app which one has to download and use to register to their services. Once you have the app, you will have to register with a security deposit of $49. The registration is tagged to your mobile number. OBike gave me free rides worth $3 when I registered. Both the apps have a mobile wallet which will require a top-up as you use. The costs usually range between 50 cents to 1 dollar every 30 minutes. So once you register, you will be able to locate the nearest bicycle using the app. The cycle will be having a QR code which you will scan using your phone to unlock the cycle lock. Your mobile bluetooth must be turned ON for this functionality to work. Once you have unlocked the cycle, the clock starts ticking. After you are done using the cycle, you will have to park it safely at a nearest bicycle stand and lock the cycle. You will need to have your bluetooth turned ON when you lock the bicycle as this will be used to end your trip on your mobile app. Else, you will have to do a manual end trip. OFO works differently, I have not tried OFO so far. I believe it uses a 4 digit code to lock/unlock the cycle. OFO charges per use, so i suppose it is cheaper than OBike and Mobike.

• Download OBike/Mobike mobile app.
• Register using mobile number paying a security deposit of $49.
• Locate bicycle.
• Unlock using QR code in bicycle.
• Use Bicycle.
• Park at bicycle stnad.
• End trip.

OBike:
An OBike is usually yellow in color with a basket up in the front. I believe there are 3 variants of this bicycle. I found OBike to be the most easy-to-locate out of the 3 vendors. So I chose this as my first option to try. Besides, they gave me $3 worth free rides AND they offered free rides on the weekend, which was just terrific. I was able to ride for long hours without paying anything. The first time I used this cycle, I was extremely satisfied. The cycle was either new or well maintained. They do not have geared cycles, but that's okay to get around. OBike also provides the feature of reserving a cycle remotely using the app upto 10 minutes before you reach the cycle. After my first attempt, I started using OBike frequently, to office, to goto the grocery shop, anywhere nearby. It was fun, cheap and healthy. I feel I have shed some layers around my stomach.

Mobike:
A Mobike is usually orange in color with a basket upfront. I registered for mobike paying the $49 deposit. Mobike did not provide me any free rides. I loaded my mobike wallet with $10. I have not used a mobike so far though. The cycles look well maintained and similar to the Obike except for the color. Using the mobile app we can locate the nearest available cycle. Mobike allows its users to reserve a bike upto 15 minutes.

OFO:
An OFO bike is a full yellow color. OFO does not have a basket up-frount. The rates for OFO bikes are cheaper than OBike and Mobike. I have not used an OFO bike so far. OFO requires a deposit of $39 to start using.

Opinions - Do they really matter?

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”  - Oscar Wilde

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”  - Paulo Coelho

“Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social enviroment. Most people are incapable of forming such opinions."  - Albert Einstein

What do you think? - This is a dangerous question to ask someone. 

Everyone have their own opinion. I do not think two people can have the same opinions about everything. We all have our differences, likes and dislikes. I have had many a situation where I went to family or friends asking what they think about a certain personal decision I was unsure on taking. Their opinions have been good at times, and bad at other times. So I keep asking myself the question - Do they really matter? Do I even need to ask others what they think?

Some opinions are forcefully imposed on us. 

There is definitely a lot of opinions that have been imposed on us, like a drug pushed into our veins when we are born. The place we live, the family we are born into, the education we have, the friends around us, all impact our thought process, and the decisions we tend to take and the opinions we have on things. The complicated part of this is that there are a lot of variables in this equation, which again means that no two people can have similar opinions about everything.

So what makes an opinion the correct one?

We all have our narcissistic, know-it-all friend who would say that his/her decision is the correct one. Can any opinion be correct? I do not think so. It is true, there can be an opinion which a huge demographic can agree with. I believe, unless it is factual information, there is no opinion which can be correct. Though there are many instances of people seeing results from an opinion, it might not be suitable for us, as their life variables have been assembled differently.

You might like the yellow in the rainbow, I like the blue.

Again - Everyone have their own opinion. It is not right to hate someone for their opinion. If you ask someone for their opinion and do not like their opinion, don't hate them, don't tell them they are stupid for suggesting that. You might like the yellow in the rainbow, I like the blue. Learn to

Never hate someone for their different opinion.

Before going to a person requesting their advice on something, do some basic assessment whether he/she is the right person whose opinion you need. Most people ask others their opinion because they are lazy to take their own decisions.

Learn to listen to others, you do not need to follow their view, but listen to it, and take an informed decision. Don't let others take your decision, think about what is the correct decision for you, and stick to it. Have a unique opinion. Peace!